ARTICLES

5/4/09

MY TOP SECRET MOVIE IDEAS

My brain is a freight train of ideas. Actually, it’s a passenger train, and my ideas are the passengers. It seems I can’t go ten seconds without coming up with a great idea for a movie, so I try as much as I can to write them in my puppy journal.

This is a glimpse into the mind of a genius, folks. Without further ado here are some free-of-charge top secret movie ideas:

UNTITLED ROMANTIC COMEDY

This movie is basically just like “Pretty Woman”, but instead of turning a prostitute into a fine lady, he turns a fine lady into a prostitute.

This idea is ripe for clever jokes about how she’ll never find a man, or whatever it is romantic comedies joke about.

SPACE JAM 2

Starring me and Charles Barkley. It’s the exact same as Space Jam 1. I play the Michael Jordan character.

SISTER ACT 3: I HATE NUNDAYS

This movie has nothing to do with the first two.

YOU'VE GOT MAIL

A movie set in the late nineties about two people who fall in love over AOL. I’m thinking Tom Hanks and a big slobbery dog will play the two leads. *

IT SHOULDN’T BE ILLEGAL TO WEAR A SPEEDO AT THE PARK: THE BRAD MCLEAN STORY

This one’s going to be a legal drama. Based on a slightly (100%) true story.

*It has come to my attention that a somewhat similar movie exists. I’ll just rename it Joe vs. the Volcano and make it about… I can’t finish this joke because I’ve never seen Joe vs. the Volcano.

Images: Space Jam 2: tinypic.. 2 May 2009. http://i36.tinypic.com/8xvsbl.jpg.

You've Got Mail: Dog News. 2 May 2009. http://i36.tinypic.com/8xvsbl.jpg.

Sister Act 3: McCoy, Vans. Collision Course. May 2 2009. http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_3i6Ja3TzR3U/R9bK_pAyYCI/AAAAAAAAAR0/iLPukMxEFRg/s1600-h/Collision_Course_1989_Film_Poster.jpg.