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ARTICLES
12/21/09
FAMILY CIRCUS- FUNNY OR FUNNIEST THING EVER?
There doesn't seem to be a less apt nickname for anything than calling newspaper comics "the funnies" (besides Luann, her escapades through high school and her teenage years are HILARIOUS!). But if you can look at me with a straight face and say you've ever laughed at Garfield or BC, I will then punch you in said face. Unless you're bigger or stronger than me... so if you're a ten year old girl, I will punch you in the face.
GARFIELD ISN'T FUNNY!
None of the other comics, however, even come close to the unhilariousness of a little piece of heaven called "The Family Circus". If I had no soul (and let's pretend that I have one HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhaha...ha...ha.), I would devote my life to writing comics for the newspaper, because not only do they not need to be three panels long, they don't even need to be funny! I can literally follow around little kids (nothing wrong with that, judge), and write down the stupid nonsensical crap that spews out of their naive face holes.
There's no way he can hand the newspaper this stuff and they think, "THIS IS BRILLIANT AND FUNNY AND HILARIOUS AND WE SHOULD PUT IT IN THE NEWSPAPER EVERY DAY!". Something's not adding up.
So I came up with this theory- he writes three panels every day, but the newspaper accidentally only puts up the first one. That has to be the explanation, otherwise I've lost faith in humanity. Observe:
AS IT APPEARED:
WHAT IT REALLY WAS:
See. Makes more sense. Here's some more I've taken the liberty to improve upon:
Please don't sue me.
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